Sometimes it feels like I'm taking Crazy Pills.

Have been slipping in and out of depression

Found that keeping it to myself is better then letting my emotions spill

I'm not happy.

Thinking back on my life there is only a short period of time when I was happy.

Before my dreams came crashing down.

Before I was Scorned.

A little self mutilation kept me from ending this very life.

I look at it as a time of weakness but yet strangely enough it was also a time when I found inner strength.

Funny how that works out sometimes

I'm on the road to recover from a little natural pill in a bottle.

It will help me keep in check and maybe just maybe

I will find happiness one more time.

MGB.

We are in a state of turmoil my Fellow Americans. We have been lead astray by wolves in sheep's clothing since World War 2. The life we know and the life we loved is coming to an end. Our freedom is on the chopping block and we sit here like drones believing what we are told. We no longer think for ourselves, we believe the media over common sense. We look to so call specialists for the answers and its always the same. Everything causes cancer no matter what you do in life you are destined to die a slow painful death by man made diseases. It is time to open your eyes. Wake up America before its to late. No president running can fix the mistakes that have been made we need to go back to the constitution and let it rule this land once again.

MGGB

The days grow long and cold

Wondering if I will ever make it home

Looking for that place to lay my weary head

Finding nothing but a broken bed

Tonight I search for a brighter tomorrow

Pushing myself to continue on

Hoping life won’t leave me before dawn.

Matthew Bush

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I have now passed 5k visitors to my little slice of the web thank you all for visiting my page, Thank you Ameriah for everything you have done for me.  You are a true friend and i miss you.

Once with feeling

Once without Regret

Once is all I get

Never a do over

Never a second chance

Once is all I get.

Another year older

Another day is done

It is my birthday

Hows that for fun

The only thing I want on this special day

Is to see my Angel  without any shame.

Nothing left to the imagination, nothing left to debate,

To see my Angel in her natural state.

I Know I’m asking a lot I know I really am

But it’s the only thing I want that I can never really have.

Oh how happy it would make me to see such a sight

It’s the thing I dream about each and every night.

Written by

Matthew G.G. Bush

Thoughts of the Past

Dreams of the Future

Living in the Now

3 different paths

Ripping me apart

All wanting what is best for me.

The past takes the blame for Mistakes made in the present.

The Present Marches forward into the Future.

The Future is altered by the Past and the Now.

Making Life itself one big uncertainty.

Matthew G Bush

November 9, 2007

Everyday Life Flashes before our Eyes

Everyday we die a little inside.

Everyday begins with a gasp of putrid air.

Everyday ends with pain and despair.

We do our best to live this life, we feel lucky we survived the night.

We start this cycle again and again, waiting for that time when it finally ends.

Hopefully we have done everything we dreamed, before we take that eternal sleep.

Written By,   Matthew Bush

October 29, 2007

It has been over 4 years since the darkness crept in. Destroying my Mind, Body, and Soul. I have dug and fought my way out of the deep dark hole, but even now when my body is safe from total self destruction my mind still wanders and most of the time isn’t at home.  To think of the power women have over a man, It only took 3 to destroy me, 2 to ignore me, and yes a few have tried to save me, one is even dating me but yet my emotional being is shattered.  My heart is out of order and the love that once filled it full has been drained from my very soul. Emotional scared I remain, until something lifts this darkness from my brain.

Glimmers of hope once held so dear

Are now pieces of a broken mirror

Seven years bad luck

Paid that price thrice over

Nothing ever changes.

Trapped in a reality not quite my own

This is the life I have always known

Forsaken by a God that Failed.

September 27, 2007

Matthew GG Bush

Chaotic

Sporadic

Fanatic

A mind blown away by thoughts, dreams, and reality

Chaotic

Sporadic

Fanatic

A life born into Madness

Chaotic

Sporadic

Fanatic

Bursting at the seams with Wisdom and Life’s little Curiosities

Chaotic

Sporadic

Fanatic

Thinking thoughts faster then thoughts can be thunk.

Chaotic

Sporadic

Fanatic

3 little words that sum up this Human being.

Matthew Bush 

Life is a Mystery that is constantly unraveling before our very eyes, when we think we have figured it out, it changes and adapts to our own awareness of its ominous presence.  There are people that get sick of the game and try to cheat life, by taking their own life or by playing God and taking others. Who says that in the grand scheme of an almost infinite realm of possibilities that either of these scenarios are ever our own choice. If we live life in the moment and never look at tomorrow today, we may end up taking ourselves out of play just before we hit the big payoff. 

Dreaming of Tomorrow

Living for Today

One foot inching towards the Grave

Beaten down in life

But Standing I Remain

Nothing has been handed to me on a silver platter

I fought tooth and nail for this desperate place

Constantly seeking enlightenment

Only to find Chaos

Written by

Matthew Bush 

Madness has returned

To the mind that once was cured

Depression sets in

Strangling the hope within

Cold cruel uncaring darkness seeps into my soul.

Spiraling out of control towards the gates of Oblivion

I unwillingly go.

Written by Matthew Bush

April 5 2007